Courtesy of Writer's Digest who sent me a neat little book called "Question of The Day," Here is "Jess My... Question of the Week™."
This week's question is:"In the interest of civility, what goes unspoken between you and a friend?"
(page 330 in the book, "Question of the Day" by: Writer's Digest)
Truthfully speaking, my answer to this question is something that has been bothering me for almost seven years now. I have a friend that I have known since my freshmen year in high school. We have always been close; best-friends even... for a long, long time now.
Almost seven years ago, I received a settlement from a personal injury claim and this friend of mine had her car repossessed not too long after that. She asked to borrow money to get a used car, and I agreed-- making sure she understood that the money ($5,500.00) was a LOAN which she was to be pay back. She even signed a receipt for the money I loaned her and on it said: "LOAN to be paid back in full."
After all these years, she has not paid back so much as a penny towards the loan and it really, really upsets me. I do not want to ruin a 26+ year friendship, but at the same time, when do I draw the line? How could someone borrow money and not make ANY attempts to pay it back, especially when that person helped them out of such a bad time in their life? I've had to borrow money from my dad before, and I have paid him back every cent I owed him. So why hasn't my "so-called friend" made any of her loan payments? She could have used income tax returns or paid monthly payments. There is no excuse. She's purchased other cars, goes out to eat very often, and had made lots of other purchases over the years but cannot make payments towards the money I loaned her? I'm really mad about that. What kind of person does that to her friend? I've had quite a few people tell me to take her to court, especially since I have the signed receipt. I suppose I keep thinking she will do the right thing but never does. I could and should press the issue but it bothers me so much that I haven't said a word about it in quite a long time now. I guess that's partially my fault. I hate confrontation and this is a big one that I have been avoiding because of our long-standing friendship.
But being honest with myself, she isn't even making any efforts to be much of a friend to me so why do I continue to avoid asking for her to pay back that money? Even writing this blog post has my heart pounding and I can feel my anxiety levels rising. I deserve better... and she needs to do the right thing.
What would you do if you were me? How would you answer this week's question yourself?